A therapist for addiction recovery can be the difference between staying trapped in the cycle of substance abuse and finally finding freedom. Take Dave, for example. After his second deployment, he started drinking—just a couple of beers after work to “take the edge off.” Five years later, he was finishing a twelve-pack every night, and his wife was threatening to leave.
“I don’t understand how this happened,” he told me during our first session. “I used to be able to handle anything.”
What Dave didn’t realize is that addiction isn’t about weakness or lack of willpower. More often, it’s about trying to carry too much stress, trauma, and pressure without the right tools. For many men, substance use begins as a solution—but eventually becomes the biggest problem.
Why Men Turn to Substances
The Pressure to “Handle It”
From a young age, men are told to be strong, self-reliant, and never to show weakness. Don’t cry. Don’t ask for help. Always be the provider and protector.
When life feels overwhelming—whether from work stress, family conflict, financial pressure, or unresolved trauma—seeking help feels like failure, substances, on the other hand, seem like an easier way to cope. Alcohol numbs the anxiety. Drugs quiet racing thoughts. Pills dull both physical and emotional pain. Initially, these methods appear to be helpful.
The Self-Medication Trap
Many men don’t even realize they’re self-medicating. They think they’re just “unwinding” after work or “taking the edge off.” But what’s really happening is the brain is trying to solve deeper problems with quick fixes.
I once worked with a man who started taking his wife’s leftover Percocet due to back pain. Soon, he realized it also made him feel less anxious, less angry, and less aware of the constant knot in his chest. That wasn’t recreational use—it was self-medication for pain he didn’t yet have words for.
What Trauma Actually Looks Like
Trauma isn’t always about dramatic events, such as combat or car accidents. It can come from growing up with an alcoholic parent, being bullied daily at school, or living with constant financial insecurity.
These experiences teach your nervous system to stay on high alert—even when you’re safe. The result? Exhaustion, anxiety, and a constant sense of danger.
The Addiction-Trauma Cycle
Here’s where things get messy. Maybe you drink to fall asleep because of nightmares or racing thoughts. At first, it helps. But then you wake up late, feel sick, and face judgment from your family. Now you’re battling both the original trauma and the shame from drinking.
This cycle is standard: drink to numb trauma → feel shame → drink more to escape shame → repeat. Breaking this cycle often requires working with a therapist for addiction recovery who understands both addiction and trauma.
How Addiction Shows Up Differently in Men
The Functional Addict
Some men appear to have it all together—showing up for work, paying bills, even coaching their kids’ soccer team—while hiding a growing addiction. This “high-functioning” stage can last for years, but eventually the cracks start to show.
Anger and Irritability
Addiction often shows up as anger in men before sadness. You snap at your spouse, yell at your kids, or rage at drivers in traffic. This isn’t just bad temper—it’s withdrawal, shame, and internal conflict boiling over.
Risky Behaviors
Men may also engage in risky behaviors: driving under the influence, hiding use from loved ones, or overspending to maintain a habit. These behaviors escalate over time, often without notice, until something serious happens.
Barriers That Keep Men from Getting Help
Stigma
Admitting addiction feels like weakness in a culture that tells men to be strong. But addiction is a medical condition—not a character flaw.
Fear of Consequences
Many men fear losing jobs, relationships, or custody if they seek help. In reality, untreated addiction is more likely to cost these things than recovery.
Not Knowing Where to Start
With so many treatment options—detox, rehab, counseling, support groups—it’s overwhelming to know what’s right. A therapist for addiction recovery can guide you through options and create a plan that works for your life.
What Actually Works in Men’s Addiction Recovery
Addressing Root Causes
Stopping substance use isn’t enough. Real healing means tackling the underlying trauma, anxiety, or depression fueling addiction.
Evidence-Based Approaches
Effective therapies may include:
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Motivational Interviewing – helping you find your own reasons for change
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – changing negative thought patterns
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Medication-Assisted Treatment – easing cravings when appropriate
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Trauma-Informed Therapy – addressing the addiction-trauma connection
Practical, Action-Oriented Support
Men often benefit from structured, goal-oriented therapy—learning coping skills, communication strategies, and stress management that feel concrete and useful.
Peer Support
Connecting with other men in recovery can be a powerful experience. Whether through groups or one-on-one support, it helps to know you’re not alone.
The Recovery Process
Recovery isn’t linear. Setbacks happen, and that’s normal. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress.
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Building New Habits: Learning new routines and healthier coping strategies.
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Rebuilding Relationships: Making Amends and Repairing Trust.
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Long-Term Support: Ongoing counseling, support groups, or regular check-ins with a therapist can help maintain progress in addiction recovery.
Moving Forward
Recovery is possible—even if you feel stuck at the moment. I’ve worked with men who believed they were too far gone or had burned too many bridges. They were wrong. With the right help, change is always possible.
A therapist for addiction recovery can help you break free from the cycle of substance abuse, address underlying trauma, and build a healthier future.
At South Platte Counseling, Kirk Johnson specializes in men’s addiction and trauma recovery. If you’re ready to take the first step, contact South Platte Counseling today for a consultation.
